So I'm really feeling fine and all my indecision may be giving space to something real again. Real in a relative way, since it may be found unreal someday, but it doesn't matter. The funny part is: good things happen for those who wait absolutely nothing from this world. You remember that butterflies story? When some writer said that the key was not to chase after them, but take care of your garden so they'll come naturally instead? It's so true, God. I was waiting for nothing more than a lil bit of fun and now I caught myself drowned in a real storm of news and little happy everyday facts to discover. Not just about me.
And it's hard to discover some lessons, like this one, when you're blinded by the pain, not wanting to get away or forgive to forgot the bad things in your past. But why in this world would we have hearts if we could not break them? And why would they break if we could never fix them in order to live again? At the end, I realize: Life's so amazing for us to pass through without any damages. And it's beautiful to see our strenght come out from nowhere just when we're feeling too tired to go on. That's what we should look for. Reaction, will to take more from life whenever possible, or even if it may seem impossible. In these times, It's not about anyone but you.
That's when (and why) I've decided to give myself some space. To live and learn, to try to love and be loved again. Even knowing it may be painful someday soon.
(Evelise Kowalczyk dos Santos)
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